My week.

For journaling purposes:

Monday-

I start to feel a burning sensation every time my milk lets down. More than usual. Also some soreness. I begin to wonder if it is what I think it is. By noon, the sensation is quite a bit worse, so I call to get an antibiotic called in, just in case. By evening, I am feeling feverish, so I start taking it.

Tuesday-


Things seem better. Still soreness and burning, but I don't feel feverish. Just trying to unclog to no avail. Just before she goes down for the night, Cami spikes a fever. We give her tylenol and send her to bed.

Wednesday-

Cami wakes up sweating and burning up. I wonder if because I missed a couple of doses of her antibiotic from her Strep from the week before, that a resistant strain has taken over. We continue the antibiotic and tylenol and motrin, and she continues to spike fevers throughout the day. Still trying to unclog, but it seems to be getting worse. I take her in to check on the strep. No strep. Must be a virus. As we are about to leave, I start feeling achy and feverish again.

Thursday-

Worst day of my life thus far. I had been told to set an alarm to pump in the middle of the night since little Noah is sleeping through. I didn't. I had a fever when I went to bed, and setting a 3am alarm was the LAST thing on my mind. Woke up at 7am engorged. So much pain. Fever. Not sure if the fever is from Mastitis, or from the same virus Cami has. We eventually conclude that it is probably the Virus, so I don't get a new antibiotic. I nurse every two hours to try to relieve. I also pump to empty. Still clogged. Cami cries all day long. She is hitting 103's and I am, too. She refuses to drink water. Refuses the tylenol and motrin. I have to force it down. She won't sleep in her bed, so I put her in mine. She asks for water, but before I get back with it, she is out. I leave her there and sleep on the guest bed because she is snoring SO loud. Noah wakes up, and mid-nurse, Cami starts crying. I leave her there until I finish, and when I do go in I find her on the floor. She clearly fell off the bed. I feel terrible. She continues to cry and cry and cry. I call Blair begging him to come home. I feel like I am going to throw up every time I stand up to change Noah's diapers. Blair doesn't get the message until 3. At this point, all three of us are in the bed. I can't seem to get Cami or Noah to stop crying, so I figure I'll just join in. We cry for a good half hour. Blair calls...he will do his best. At 3:40, he is on his way. We count the minutes. Less than 5 minutes before he gets home, Noah falls asleep, and Cami starts eating an apple and is happily watching tv. As soon as he walks in, I go to bed. I sleep for a good hour, and wake up a bit better. Judy brings us dinner. She is an answer to prayers. The fevers go up and down all evening long. Finally Cami is in bed for the night. I call my mom and ask her to come tomorrow.

Friday-

I wake up at 3am on the dot and pump. I get a measly 3 ounces. I usually get 4 from just one side, and this was emtpying both. I feel like I am going to die. Still feverish. Wake up again at 7 when Noah cries, and feel quite a bit better. I feed him and he goes back to sleep, so I do too. We all wake back up around 9. Cami is happy. And cool. Noah is happy. I am fine aside for a small headache and cloggging still. The worst has past. I give Cami more motrin just to be safe, and I continue to do the same for myself. Mom comes. Cami has a friend, thank goodness. She and mom play and play and play while I nap and rest. I nurse every hour and a half, and can't seem to satisfy Mr. Noah. Right after one attempt, mom gets him to drink a full 4 ounce bottle. Apparently he is getting next to nothing from me. Still clogged. Production is dropping. Another dinner from Ali. Man, I have great friends. Try the hot bath. Doesn't help. Nothing helps. More bottles for Noah. Seriously wanting to throw in the towel, but unfortunately I can't until the mastitis is gone. But at least the fevers are gone.

And now it's 11:24, and I'm not even tired. Can't stop thinking about what I'm going to do when this is all done. Will I call it a day and be done nursing? Will I tough it out and keep going, even though I am at a high risk for getting mastitis again? I'll probably think "ah...now that I'm normal again, it isn't so bad" and keep going. It's so convenient, and I was really really enjoying it this time around. But still. I am so frustrated. Don't be surprised if I give up.